i made arrangements for two hours of alone-time today. i emailed my Goddess and told Her i would be online at noon. i begged Her to meet me in a chat and abuse me to Her Delight. She graciously agreed. When i got online, She was there.
i typed my assigned opening line: "Goddess, may i entertain You?" Without hesitation, She typed "get naked." i stripped off my pants, shirt, underpants, shirt and socks and put a towel on the chair. i sat back down and typed "done Goddess."
She asked me why i hadn't sent Her a description of my masturbation attempt last night. i told Her i had posted it. She told me to pinch my nipples hard and hold them while She read my post.
i sat for over four minutes, pinching myself. my left nipple always slides out from my fingers, even from nipple clamps, and i was constantly readjusting my grip. Each new re-grip sent another wave of new pain through me. Even thought i tried hard not to, my eyes were watering by the time She said 'let go." This is what i read from My Goddess while i abused my nipples:
pinch long and hard slut
my little slut couldn't cum from vanilla, could he?
couldn't empty his sore and full balls without the naughty little thoughts and actions he's come to crave?
think how much cum would have surged from you if you'd managed to cum
think how good you would have felt
but you couldn't, could you?
not while thinking vanilla thoughts.
My Goddess had me hang my balls over the edge of the chair. "Rub them," She said. i touched my balls with the palm of my hand and began rubbing softly. my cock sprang to life. it had never done that before, not like this. i was puzzled, wondered what i was reacting to.
She asked me whether or not i was still interested in pain, or if i wanted to stop and go back to jerking off the way normal guys do. A little embarrassed, i found myself typing: "i need my balls smacked by You, Goddess". She asked, "are you certain?" Hesitantly, i typed "yes".
The rest of the hour was filled with pain, and eventually pleasure.
She began by having me smack my balls as the hung over the edge of the chair. She counted each stroke on the screen. She alternated the strokes, six or seven in a row, fast, then a pause, then three or four slow ones. She got to 35 before She "lost count" and told me She would start again at 1. She started again, a group of fast ones, then a pause. i was going insane. my body would adjust to the onslaught of my palm smacking my balls, then, just as it adjusted, She would slow down, or, even worse, stop. my world would shift again, the feelings fresh everywhere between my legs. After the pause, She started up again. The pain was like the first time, stomach turning and shooting all through my belly and thighs.
The thing that threw me off was the way my cock responded. It was stiff and jerking in the air. i didn't know what to think, it must have been a physiological reaction. Either that or i was adjusting to the pain. Liking it? Craving it? i pushed the thought out of my head and watched the numbers on the screen. "Do you want more, slut?" i typed, "yes, Goddess, please, please more."
She paused and told me to hold my fingers around my ball sack like they were rubber bands. i told Her that i had rubber bands nearby. She just typed "pain whore". i blushed and typed 'y'. "you want them on, don't you?" i typed, 'y'. "Do it."
i wrestled with my balls for a while. The sack was tight and my balls had gone up inside my body, probably trying to avoid the beating. i stretched my sack flesh, tried to relax, felt for my balls. As they dropped, i took a small rubber band and snapped it around the sack, trapping the balls below. i used a second then a third to squeeze the sack as tight as i could, my balls swelling in the smooth-skinned sack below.
She told me to start smacking them slowly, adjusting until the pain was about 8. i typed 'y' and started smacking my balls. After the third, i saw Her type '1' on the screen. i'd been so anxious i'd started without Her. i didn't tell Her, there was no need. i just started at 1 again, grateful for Her Attention.
When She got to 5, She asked me how i was feeling. "scared" i typed. "Why?" I answered, "That You will make me go to pain level 10 or that i will lost control and won't be able to stop when You tell me to."
"Are you more afraid that you will not be able to stop, or that you will not want to stop?"
i froze. She was right. i was afraid i was going to love it. What would that say about me? That i was loving smacking my own balls with my hand. That it made me hard, my cock stiffen and twitch? But i typed the truth: "Goddess, i am afraid i will not want to stop, that i will be unable to because i will crave it."
The screen didn't move for several seconds. i stared at what i'd written. Was it true? Was i becoming that?
"You will stop when I tell you to stop because you are an obedient little whore."
I typed "y".
She told me to begin. She typed 1 2 3 4, indicating fast smacks. i did it, feeling the pain starting up again. it hit level 8 quickly and i held it there while She counted to 15. At 15, she slowed down. With one hand, i typed, "please".
She stopped. "Please what, whore?" i felt my cock going limp as the pain subsided slowly from my balls. i needed the pain to make my cock stiff. i typed "please Goddess, may i continue smacking my balls and then cum afterwards?"
She didn't answer and i added: "please Goddess, let me strike them 100 times. or a thousand or a million. Just please let me cum afterwards." my mind was slipping away, all i knew was the hunger between my legs.
Again, She made me wait nearly a minute before She answered. my Need was getting greater. i was about to offer 150 when i read "1". A rush of embarrassment and excitement went through me as my hand swung up quickly and smacked my sack. The pain was intense, i must have gone to 9. i backed off as she led me from 2 to 25. At 25, i was gasping for breath, my cock stiff and swollen, my balls aching.
She typed, "you are one quarter of the way to cumming. Hmmm. I wonder if you'll be allowed to cum or if there will be rules." i was about to type something in reply when i saw "26". My hand went up between my legs as if on instinct and swarred my balls. She sped through 27-35, then slowed to a crawl. Again, the feeling was horrible as i went from the feeling of adjustment to nothing. My cock continued to respond like it was being sucked or jerked off. The head was swollen and bright red now, the shaft twitching up and down like it was being hit instead of my balls.
At 40, my legs started shaking. i opened them wider and felt my ass moving on the towel. i flexed my ass, opening it up, fantasizing about a huge cock up there. It distracted me from the pain for only a few seconds, then the scene felt dirty and disgusting to me.
At 50, She stopped again. "Is it still worth it, whore?"
"i don't know, i don't know, Goddess. i am rocking back and forth, imagining cock up my ass to keep me from thinking about the pain..."
"Do you want to continue?"
"i want to serve You. i want to continue even if You choose not to let me cum, Goddess. Are You enjoying this, Goddess?"
"I am enjoying this, whore."
"Then, please, more Goddess." i looked down between my legs. my balls were swollen and purple. It hurt intensely but i was committed and i wanted to finish. i needed to finish.
Some time around 65, i had the sensation that i was going to cum. my cock twitched and the muscles inside me did exactly what they do before an orgasm, i recognized the feeling. It made me proud and totally humiliated at the same time. i'd read about it a thousand times, but it was alway women. They would cum from a tit whipping or an ass fuck. i'd never read about a guy cumming from having his balls beaten. i was turning into a very special kind of pervert.
When She stopped me at 75, i reported what had happened. i begged her to allow me to touch it while i continued. Her Answer was a firm "no". Then, She added, "if you can cum from just the ball smacking, be my guest." i wondered if i might. i wondered if i wished i would or if i wished i wouldn't. i felt my gut twist as i realized that i lose either way. i am either a sick pain slut who can cum from having his balls beaten or a slut who will beat his own balls even without an orgasm as the reward.
My Goddess worked me hard 76 - 99, speeding up, slowing down, pausing. my balls were going wild. At 99, She stopped and waited for a long, long time. When She typed again, She wrote "1 last one. HARD".
In a haze of pain and lust, i swung hard, harder than i should have. i screamed, grabbed my balls in my hand and tried to comfort them. i doubled over from the pain and held my breath. When i looked up, My Goddess had typed, "untie your balls, whore."
Gently, i undid the three rubber bands holding my balls in place. She told me i was allowed to cum with the condition that i lick my hand clear when i was finished.
Thrilled, i leaned back in the chair and started stroking furiously. This was unusual, i usually start slow and speed up, but i was so close. i thought. After a few minutes, i realized i wasn't cumming. i started smacking my balls. my cock responded by stiffening. i hit them again and again, feeling my cock's approval more each time. my balls slid up inside me again and i was able to smack my crotch hard, like women have their cunts smacked in porn. i felt dirty and twisted when i had that thought, smacked my crotch harder.
It took nearly 10 minutes of stroking and playing with my nipples before i came. When i did, it was incredible, i jerked up and down, side to side, while a stream of cum shot all over my belly and ran down my sides.
As ordered, i licked my hand clean, then said 'good bye' to my Goddess and turned off the computer.
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