Saturday, May 11, 2013

painsult_jake: results

i am destined to another day without relief. My Goddess and my body have played cruel tricks on me. As She knows, i have been running hard and getting very little sleep this week.

i lay in bed and closed my eyes. i pictured My Goddess walking across the stage toward the podium to give Her Talk. She was wearing a long dress that swayed as she walked. The skirt was a light colored print. Her blouse was white and she wore a printed waistcoat and two scarves. Her hair was up and she wore a necklace and several bracelets. A brilliant gypsy scholar. 

We had been talking online for six months, since we became aware of each other when i read one of Her papers. We'd agreed to meet face-to-face at this conference. Since some groundwork had been laid, i felt confident. i will admit, i barely heard the contents of her paper. my eyes were locked on her face and upper body, fantasies already swirling. The first time i would see Her naked Body. Her letting Her Hair down around Her Shoulders. Kissing Her Neck. Finally, that moment of infinite sweetness when She would open Her Legs and i would lay between them.

i fantasized through dinner quickly, we made small talk and ate light. We agreed to limit ourselves to two glasses of wine, then one more each back at the hotel. Her Eyes sparkled when She talked, i was entranced the whole night. She was so strong and confident. There were moments i was not sure i would be able to seduce Her, other moments i was positive She was mine. 

in RL, i had my legs open wide and was running my fingertips lightly over my belly and the insides of my thighs. i touched my balls and nipples occasionally and felt my cock jerk erect. my body was responding so differently than it had before. The slightest touch made me hard. i'd looked in the mirror earlier and noticed my balls were swolled and red. They were so much more sensitive than ever before!

We went back to the hotel and sat on the couch, sipping wine and necking like teenagers. i had Her top unbuttoned and was kissing Her Neck.

Suddenly, i woke. i realized i'd fallen asleep. i almost cried from the frustration. my exhausted body was torn between the need for sleep and the need for relief. i reset the fantasy from the point we walked into the hotel room and went to the couch. in RL, my cock responded immediately. i let my fingers graze it lightly, moving up and down the shaft. i felt like i would cum right then. In the fantasy, i was sliding my hand up the inside of Her Thigh. She leaned in closer to kiss me. 

my finger and thumb were in a circle now, sliding up and down over my cock head. i imagined Her Mouth on me, Her Lips closed around it. i stopped myself cold. Vanilla! Vanilla! i yelled in my head, the frustration sweeping over me again. i was not to enjoy My Goddess Mouth even in fantasy.

i began stroking again but then drifted off for the second time. When i woke, i lay in bed shuddering in my frustration. my desperate cock was losing the battle between fatigue and arousal. i tried to get back into the fantasy, but it was now just snapshots. Us at dinner. Her behind the podium. Us in bed, under the covers (as vanilla as i could imagine), me humping gently while She clenched down on my cock with Her Cunt. i stroked myself, but the fantasy was too fragmented and i failed.

After another few minutes, i resigned myself to another day of oversensitive balls and nipples and yet another day of orgasm denial.

And this time, i was the one who had denied me.

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