It was three days before i could spend any alone time with my Goddess. During that time, i obeyed Her Orders about my behavior. No cumming was Number One on the list. i masturbated regularly, bringing myself as close as i could then stopping. Every time i went into the bathroom to pee, i smacked my balls hard 5 times before and after.
When i finally had a window coming, i emailed my Goddess. She agreed to meet me online.
i was online nearly 30 minutes before My Goddess arrived. As soon as i saw her, i typed: "hello". She didn't respond. I typed the following: "Goddess, may i entertain You?" She answered "depends, whore. How do you plan on entertaining me?"me: Goddess, may i entertain You?
i answered:
Goddess, i can offer You my skills licking Your Precious Cunt online
or embarrassing myself
here in my room, standing near the open window
naked and exposed
or beating my balls
until i am crying from the pain and curled up on the floor
or torturing my nipples with pens as before
As i typed it, i realized i was typing from my brain, not really my cock. i didn't want pain, i wanted embarrassment, i wanted her attention. But not pain. Her answer was: "I am impressed, my little whore, how much you really do enjoy pain."
i answered: "no, Goddess, not at all. i dread all of those, but i want to please You." i hoped that my answer would get her interested more in my obedience than in my pain. i was wrong. She was interested in neither. Tonight, She was going to tease me blind.
i was told to strip naked and did immediately. She asked what toys i had with me. i had only the small anal vibrator. She found that amusing. "you love your ass filled, don't you?" i blushed and typed ' y'. She told me to slide forward on the chair until my balls hung off the front. i did. "Now, scoot back in the chair without standing up." i did. As my balls came up over the edge of the chair, i felt uncomfortable but it wasn't painful.
"now lean forward," She typed.
i did and immediately felt the pain. i typed "y" and then "how long Goddess? it hurts". She wrote for a long time: "i think you want your ass filled, don't you? lean forward more… think of my hand squeezing them… think of how you talked about me kicking them…" and more. After about five minute, she typed "sit up". i felt a flood of relief, i'd lost of track of the pain until i shifted upright. "Thank You Goddess".
my balls were starting to feel better. i watched the screen, eager for Her next command. "get your vibrator whore. turn it on and hold it against your balls." i did. i wasn't too worried, i'd tried that over the years and it hadn't ever really turned me on. This time was different though, maybe because i was following orders. my cock responded right away, though only a little. She typed "you're rather be fucking it, wouldn't you?" To my surprise, that aroused me. i wanted it in my ass and asked for it. She laughed at me and said "we'll see. I wonder if my little slut knows there's more than one way to torture a cock."
That made me nervous. She knew about the bruise and i'd already decided i wasn't going to do anything i felt might lead to a physical problem. She kept typing: "torture thru pleasure. Something that feels soooo good till its too much, especially when you're not allowed to cum. Hold it on the sweet spot ... right behind the head .. where you wish my tongue was rubbing."
i was surprised, i found myself responding. Vibrating my cock had never worked before. i put it right behind my cockhead, then rocked it slightly right to left. It got stiffer. She said, "Think of doing this with a more powerful vibrator…" i felt it. Then, "… while you ride a huge dildo. but not allowed to cum ... such sweet torture… think of that dildo rubbing your prostate pushing you closer and closer to the edge."
It was really getting to me, but feeling it all in one place wasn't enough. i looked around and found a pair of socks. i wrapped them around my cock, trapping the vibrator against my cockhead. It felt amazing and i told Her about it, feeling a little proud of my invention.
Her response was "well, since you're so clever, smack your balls now that your hands are free." i felt a rush, instead of complimenting me, She used my invention against me. i felt that rush of humiliation i'd been seeking. i began smacking my balls, sure She let me get to 10 then let me stop. i counted them on the screen as i did it, smacking rather hard this time. By the time i got to ten, i noticed that the pain in my balls helped distract me from the vibrator that was still teasing my cock. At 24, She typed "you may stop smacking". But i didn't. i couldn't take the vibrator at my cockhead, it was too sensitive and starting to drive me crazy. i typed "25" then "i need this to distract me from the vibrator Goddess" She didn't answer until i'd typed 32. Then all she did was laugh at me: "ohhh, how my little whore learns so quickly." i begged Her to let me turn off the vibrator but She didn't answer.
Then, the batteries died. i felt the rush of relief and typed "the battery just died!" But something surprising kicked in, some part of me i didn't know about, and i admitted to Her that "i was playing with the vibrator a little yesterday. i will see if i have spare batteries".
If you've ever done a chat on the Internet, you know that things get delayed sometimes. After i'd typed those two lines, i read my Goddess' response: "awww, lucky you. I guess we have to stop." I felt another flare of humiliation. i could have quit! But instead, i'd admitted i'd put it in my ass on my own, and i'd offered to look for fresh batteries. i wondered what i was becoming.
My Goddess didn't miss a beat. She typed: "you must have used it a lot for the batteries to be dead. you're such a fucking ass cunt whore you had it up your ass even when i didn't tell you to.
you just couldn't live without it shoved deep in your ass, you had to fuck your own ass cunt, didn't you?"
i stared at the words as they came across. What could i do but admit it and admit what i was becoming…
i changed the battery and entered a new level of degradation. The motor was so much more powerful my cock was stiff in seconds. i asked Her to allow me to smack my balls but She said "no". Instead, She had me start pinching, twisting, and finger-nail-gouging my nipples. She made me hold while She counted oh so slowly from 1 to 20. Then, i wasn't allowed to release then, but change from a twist to a pinch. She switched her tactic then to "flick them until I say stop. The tips.".
By number ten, the t ears started welling up again. My whole world was just those painful nipples, the vibrator between my legs was forgotten. At 22, She typed "stop" and asked me how aroused i was. i reported a 9 for pain and a 7 for arousal. I typed, "the pain overwhelmed my and my cock went soft…" She answered, "exactly." That surprised me too. i thought the ideas was to make the pain arouse me. i asked Her about it. She answered, "you are not trained yet. Wrap My Hand around your cock and press the vibrator tighter." i did and my cock sprang back to life. i was at arousal level 9 in seconds. i'd never felt anything like it before and i needed to cum so badly!
After only a few seconds, My Goddess told me to turn it off and shove it in my mouth. i did but just as quickly, She told me to shove it up my ass, all the way this time. i pushed it hard and fast but it stalled at the same spot as the other night. She kept telling me "further" and i pushed, sliding it out and in over and over until i felt that strange indescribable feeling of the widest part passing through, then my anus closing around the slimmer part past the flair. it was the first time i'd ever felt that. i panicked. What if it wouldn't come out? Also, there was a noise and something drizzled out of me and onto the towel. i felt myself turning red.
When i reported to My Goddess what had happened, She answered: "you are still learning. i am thinking of how to make sure that doesn't happen again though. i am really curious how open my new little whore will be to it." i shuddered. Was She thinking diet change? Smaller dildo? Bigger dildo? Enema? Any of those would be terrifying. Mercifully, She changed the subject.
"Time to work your legs fuck toy. Bounce up and down a little. Fuck your own ass." i did. In just a few strokes, i closed my eyes and let myself drift into a fantasy. i was standing bent over a chair, my ass high in the air, someone standing behind me, their cock buried deep in my ass. It might have been a man or a woman with a strap on. It might even be My Goddess just using a dildo. But i found my ass craved it. The feeling of that little shaft pushing up into my body was opening me up and i wanted more. Through half-glazed eyes, i saw myself typing: "i want a bigger one. i want myself stretched, my holes filled." Seeing myself type "holes" made my cock stiff, i was losing my mind, losing my identity, becoming an open hole for cock meat. i started flicking my nipples, typing in between: "begging you to find someone to fuck my cunt ass, shoot his load up into me then shove the plug back in so it stays there."
i typed: "Goddess, may I jerk off?" She allowed me to get to 9 but no more. i got there over and over, smacking my balls to bring me back from the edge, the pain though starting to be less effective. i was afraid i would cum and begged Her again to let me turn off the vibrator. She said "no". i pinched and twisted my nipples hoping the pain would cancel the arousal but it wasn't working either.
Out of the blue, She typed "STOP. everything. stop fucking, touching, get the cock out of your ass." i tried but it felt stuck inside me. my body was so alive, on the edge, electrified. i tugged and squatted until the little dildo slid out.
My Goddess said She was finished with me. i felt that same feeling i'd had before. i was in this to cum, not just to be abused then left hanging. i'd read plenty about orgasm denial and it seemed like a wonderful game to play with a woman, but it wasn't anything i was interested in having doe to me. I asked "may i cum tonight, Goddess?" expecting the answer "yes".
Instead, she told me to flick my nipples. Dreading a fresh wave of pain, i went ahead. Sure enough, it was horrible. The pinching and twisting i could take but flicking was terrible, especially since the twisting had sensitized them. She made me do it 20 times, then use my nails for three long, long gouges.
i asked Her again, saying that i'd done my best to keep Her interested. She asked how long it had been since my last cum. It was at least five days and i told Her. Her asking was more of a turn on than i'd expected. In having to think back to my last cum, i realized how much of myself i'd given over to Her control. It had only been about three days since She took me over, but i hadn't cum a few days before that.
She waited a long time before typing Her reply back to me. "you may cum tonight ONLY IF you do so just by rubbing your cock. nothing in your ass. no pinching or slapping. you my think only of vanilla sex."
i had four or five more hours of RL to deal with before i would be alone again and able to attempt masturbation. i asked Her if i could use the Photos of Herself that She'd sent me. She restricted me to a single Photo of Her, not even naked, just wearing a plain tan dress and standing, turned 3/4 view.
i have no idea whether or not i can cum from a plain vanilla sex fantasy. i opened the Picture of My Goddess and looked at it earlier tonight. i have decided i cannot use it to masturbate. i cannot look at the picture without imagining myself at Her Feet, waiting eagerly to server Her.
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